Red Flags to Watch for in Early Dating

7. Different Values on Key Issues Misalignment on fundamentals—children, finances, religion, lifestyle, life goals—rarely works out long-term without compromise that breeds resentment. Don't ignore these hoping they'll change or that love will conquer all. Love doesn't make incompatibilities disappear; it just makes them harder to walk away from. Be honest about deal-breakers early: if you definitely want children and they definitely don't, there's no middle ground. If you value faith deeply and they're hostile to religion, that gap matters. Different preferences on minor things are fine, but core values shape life direction. Ignoring value mismatches early leads to painful realizations later when you're more invested. Compatibility requires more than attraction—it requires aligned vision for life.

8. Substance Abuse Issues Excessive drinking or drug use that affects their behavior, responsibilities, or your relationship is a serious red flag requiring professional help. Addiction is a disease that they must choose to address—you can't love them into sobriety. If substances regularly alter their personality, cause them to miss commitments, or create chaos in their life, this is beyond recreational use. Be honest about whether their relationship with substances concerns you. Many people minimize substance issues early on, hoping they're not that bad. Trust your observations over their reassurances. If they can't or won't address substance problems, you're signing up for a relationship with three participants: you, them, and their addiction. That's not sustainable or healthy.

What to Do: - Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it usually is - Don't make excuses for red flag behavior - Discuss concerns directly; their response tells you a lot - Don't invest more hoping they'll change - Walk away when red flags pile up